Spent last evening with my girlfriends for a friend's birthday. As I looked around the table (and thought about the ones that couldn't make it), I was so thankful for these beautiful women. They are my encouragers, my buddies, the ones I go to when I hurt, when I am sad, when I need help and when I just want someone to laugh with. They have stuck by me through thick and thin. They love me when I'm ugly and when I'm sweet. They love me despite all of my flaws. They also love my family as much as I do and would do anything for us. I am one lucky girl.
Since I last posted, things have changed a bit. I'm still having headaches 2-3 days a week. I'm grateful that they're not everyday but when they hit, they're hard. No medication relieves the pain. Loud noises and bright lights make it instantly worse. I've also noticed that I've still got some balance issues. If I turn my head quickly or bend straight over, I get very disoriented and almost fall. I tried cleaning out my bottom kitchen cabinets. Even sat on a chair. Didn't work real well because I kept falling forward and hitting my head on the cabinet. Also, I'm still not sleeping well. Because of this, I'm really tired during the day. Please pray for me that I can find a solution.
I want you to understand that I'm not complaining. Compared to before my surgery, all of this is minor. At first, it was disappointing as I thought these things were gone. But as I've healed and gotten back in to the regular swing of things, I'm noticing that some things are still there. I'm over the disappointment and am learning to do whatever it is I have to do to make it work. Satan is my biggest enemy. He comes to steal, kill and destroy by encouraging me to dwell on these things. I am determined not to do it. I will choose to listen to the voice of truth. Even though I had surgery, I still have Chiari and always will have it but it doesn't mean that I have to let it control my life.
Speaking of getting back into the swing of things, I will be working 4 days a week for a while. Things at work are really busy (which is good) but they're behind and need extra help. Luckily, my boss and I have an agreement about my health so if I feel bad, I am free (and encouraged) to go home and rest. I will try my best but work within my limits....with God's help.
Philippians 3:12-14
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Ah, the holidays are over ad life is somewhat back to normal. I've been working two days a week. It may not seem like a lot to most people but I'm exhausted at the end of each working day. I sit at a computer all day. In some ways, this is a lot more tiring than being up and around and doing something. My brain feels bogged down by the time I leave. Regardless, I am extremely grateful that I have a job. I am NOT taking it for granted.
Well, the headaches have come back a bit. I don't know if it's because of the CSF leak or other fluid or whatever is causing the burning squishy place on the back of my head or if I'm just getting some of the headaches back. Let me clarify, before the surgery I had a headache every day. Every day. Now, I get them 2-3 times a week. I am grateful that they're not as frequent but I am a bit disappointed that I'm still having them. Whatever the reason, God has a plan.
I'm not sleeping well. I should say that I'm hardly sleeping at all. Last night, it was after 3:30 a.m. before I got more than 5-10 minutes of sleep at a time. I'm so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open but sleep just doesn't come. I don't lay there and think of problems in my life. I'm just not sleeping. This makes me extremely drowsy during the day. I can't wait to hit the bed at night only to lay there without sleep. Tried over-the-counter sleep aids. None of them are working. What to do...? I pray for people. God brings many people to my mind and I pray for them. All sorts of situations. The hurting, the sick, the jobless. Eventually, I fall asleep while talking to God. I suppose there's no better way to end your day.
Our church will be doing cardboard testimonies on Sunday and I'm participating. What a blessing to be able to share with the whole congregation what God has done in my life.
Haiti. What a horrible situation. Seeing the pictures of devastation and the look of no hope in the eyes of the displaced and wounded has been haunting me for days. The remarks by a certain evangelist were distressing. Now, a movie actor is blaming global warming. I cannot begin to imagine the suffering that these poor people are going through. No food or water. Scared to sleep in their own homes for fear of another earthquake. Dead bodies piled everywhere. Lack of medical attention. It should be a wake-up call to those are complacent about their place in this world. Those who are "self-satisfied and unaware of possible danger". We had a very small earthquake in central Oklahoma today. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? We could be the next victims of tragedy. Never take for granted this day that the Lord has given to you. Serve him today as though this is your last day.
Well, the headaches have come back a bit. I don't know if it's because of the CSF leak or other fluid or whatever is causing the burning squishy place on the back of my head or if I'm just getting some of the headaches back. Let me clarify, before the surgery I had a headache every day. Every day. Now, I get them 2-3 times a week. I am grateful that they're not as frequent but I am a bit disappointed that I'm still having them. Whatever the reason, God has a plan.
I'm not sleeping well. I should say that I'm hardly sleeping at all. Last night, it was after 3:30 a.m. before I got more than 5-10 minutes of sleep at a time. I'm so tired that I can hardly keep my eyes open but sleep just doesn't come. I don't lay there and think of problems in my life. I'm just not sleeping. This makes me extremely drowsy during the day. I can't wait to hit the bed at night only to lay there without sleep. Tried over-the-counter sleep aids. None of them are working. What to do...? I pray for people. God brings many people to my mind and I pray for them. All sorts of situations. The hurting, the sick, the jobless. Eventually, I fall asleep while talking to God. I suppose there's no better way to end your day.
Our church will be doing cardboard testimonies on Sunday and I'm participating. What a blessing to be able to share with the whole congregation what God has done in my life.
Haiti. What a horrible situation. Seeing the pictures of devastation and the look of no hope in the eyes of the displaced and wounded has been haunting me for days. The remarks by a certain evangelist were distressing. Now, a movie actor is blaming global warming. I cannot begin to imagine the suffering that these poor people are going through. No food or water. Scared to sleep in their own homes for fear of another earthquake. Dead bodies piled everywhere. Lack of medical attention. It should be a wake-up call to those are complacent about their place in this world. Those who are "self-satisfied and unaware of possible danger". We had a very small earthquake in central Oklahoma today. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? We could be the next victims of tragedy. Never take for granted this day that the Lord has given to you. Serve him today as though this is your last day.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
2010
I haven't written in a while because we've been super busy. My husband completely redid the extra bedroom in our house. Took the popcorn off of the ceiling, painted the walls and the woodwork. Moved my grandmother's old bedroom furniture in and bought new bedding. This is the first time in our marriage that we've had an extra bedroom. When our daughter moved out into her own apartment, we took over her bedroom as our office and now we actually have space for someone to come and stay. Suddenly, our house seems much bigger!
On December 30th, we had some friends from Miami, Florida come to stay with us. They had been to Michigan for Christmas and drove this way to see us before they went back home. Our house is on the small side so 5 adults in a house for 3 days was very interesting to say the least. Unfortunately, the newly painted room wasn't large enough for all three of them but at least we had a room for all of their stuff! We had a great time seeing them and sent the cold weather with them to take home to Miami! I don't think they appreciated that too much... :o)
Thanks to the insistence of my husband, we got a new refrigerator! (The one we had was purchased in 1984.) It's stainless steel with french doors on the top and the freezer at the bottom. Ice and water in the door. I LOVE it!
Went back to the surgeon about the leak in my head. He said it could be spinal fluid or it could be some other kind of fluid. Regardless, he felt that I was progressing and healing very well and there was no need for an MRI or CT scan. He said that my body should absorb the fluid. I can't tell you how relieved I am. Just the thought that they might have to open me back up to repair a spinal fluid leak was very unsettling. I still am getting headaches and have occasional balance problems. I just need to remind myself that the surgery was not a cure-all. There was always the possibility of my symptoms not going completely away or reoccurring. I will learn to live with the headaches and being wobbly. I have decided that I will lay down when I am tired. I must listen to my body. Regardless of these past few weeks, I am still very pleased with the outcome of the surgery. It's only been 8 weeks and I'm feeling better each day.
For the next month or so, I will be working 2 days a week. Hopefully, that will work into 3 days. Although we need the money, personally I needed to go back to work for my sanity. I really enjoy my job and the people that I work with. Yes, I'm very tired after working an 8 hour day but I will adjust quickly. I'm just very very grateful that they were willing to have me come back. Many people don't have jobs and I am very thankful and don't take mine for granted.
It's 2010. Hard to believe time passes so quickly. With our daughter out of college and out on her own, my husband and I are starting a completely new phase in our lives. One thing that this surgery has afforded us is more time spent together. I can't explain how much this has meant to me. Spending time with the ones you love is the best.
In 2010, I decided to follow our Pastor's advice and read the Bible through again. I pray that God speaks to me in a new and fresh way. While I was reading today, I was also listening to music. The last song that I listened to is my 2010 prayer for you.
May the grace of God surround you
May His light direct your path
May His spirit lead and guide you
As the weeks and months go past
May your soul be blessed
And may your joy be full
Of the love that His light brings
As you obey His call
Remember most of all
You're a child of the King
May the peace of the Lord go with you
The peace of the Lord go with you
May His spirit rest within you
To comfort and befriend you
He is right beside you
To constantly remind you
You're a child of the King
P.S. -Almost forgot something exciting! I went to the eye doctor on Monday and while I was there I had a visual fields test. Basically, it measures your perpherial vision. Before, I barely had any in my right eye. Now, I got 100% onthe test. I've got all of my vision back. Praise God!
On December 30th, we had some friends from Miami, Florida come to stay with us. They had been to Michigan for Christmas and drove this way to see us before they went back home. Our house is on the small side so 5 adults in a house for 3 days was very interesting to say the least. Unfortunately, the newly painted room wasn't large enough for all three of them but at least we had a room for all of their stuff! We had a great time seeing them and sent the cold weather with them to take home to Miami! I don't think they appreciated that too much... :o)
Thanks to the insistence of my husband, we got a new refrigerator! (The one we had was purchased in 1984.) It's stainless steel with french doors on the top and the freezer at the bottom. Ice and water in the door. I LOVE it!
Went back to the surgeon about the leak in my head. He said it could be spinal fluid or it could be some other kind of fluid. Regardless, he felt that I was progressing and healing very well and there was no need for an MRI or CT scan. He said that my body should absorb the fluid. I can't tell you how relieved I am. Just the thought that they might have to open me back up to repair a spinal fluid leak was very unsettling. I still am getting headaches and have occasional balance problems. I just need to remind myself that the surgery was not a cure-all. There was always the possibility of my symptoms not going completely away or reoccurring. I will learn to live with the headaches and being wobbly. I have decided that I will lay down when I am tired. I must listen to my body. Regardless of these past few weeks, I am still very pleased with the outcome of the surgery. It's only been 8 weeks and I'm feeling better each day.
For the next month or so, I will be working 2 days a week. Hopefully, that will work into 3 days. Although we need the money, personally I needed to go back to work for my sanity. I really enjoy my job and the people that I work with. Yes, I'm very tired after working an 8 hour day but I will adjust quickly. I'm just very very grateful that they were willing to have me come back. Many people don't have jobs and I am very thankful and don't take mine for granted.
It's 2010. Hard to believe time passes so quickly. With our daughter out of college and out on her own, my husband and I are starting a completely new phase in our lives. One thing that this surgery has afforded us is more time spent together. I can't explain how much this has meant to me. Spending time with the ones you love is the best.
In 2010, I decided to follow our Pastor's advice and read the Bible through again. I pray that God speaks to me in a new and fresh way. While I was reading today, I was also listening to music. The last song that I listened to is my 2010 prayer for you.
May the grace of God surround you
May His light direct your path
May His spirit lead and guide you
As the weeks and months go past
May your soul be blessed
And may your joy be full
Of the love that His light brings
As you obey His call
Remember most of all
You're a child of the King
May the peace of the Lord go with you
The peace of the Lord go with you
May His spirit rest within you
To comfort and befriend you
He is right beside you
To constantly remind you
You're a child of the King
P.S. -Almost forgot something exciting! I went to the eye doctor on Monday and while I was there I had a visual fields test. Basically, it measures your perpherial vision. Before, I barely had any in my right eye. Now, I got 100% onthe test. I've got all of my vision back. Praise God!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Almost 2010
Well, we still have snow on the ground but most of the main streets are dry. The neighborhoods are another story. We've been lucky that the last few days have been above freezing so the big melt is going on. It's not doing much to the really big snow drifts but at least you can get around town. There is more snow forecast for tomorrow, tomorrow night and Wednesday night. This time it's only supposed to be 1-2 inches. As long as we don't get freezing rain and ice, it will be great.
Several days ago, I started having headaches. All day and night. Not necessarily a regular headache but more like pressure. I remember commenting that my scar was kind of hurting. The day after Christmas, I noticed a swollen spot by my scar. By Sunday, it was still there but getting bigger and squishy. Called the neurosurgeon's office and they had me come in. My doctor wasn't there but another surgeon looked at and felt it. Yep, I've got a leak. Probably in the patch that they put on the sac around my brain. They made me an appointment with my own surgeon next Tuesday for him to look at it and decide what to do. So, I'm asking that you pray for me. Well, specifically that the leak would stop and not get any bigger. If it's still there next week, they said they might have to do another MRI or CT scan. I don't want that because it will be after the first of the year and I'd be starting my insurance deductible all over again. So, please pray.
2010 is almost here and 2009 seems to have flown by. Our daughter graduated from college, got a full time job, moved out into her own apartment and has recently become engaged. My parents took the whole family on a cruise for their 50th wedding anniversary. We made a trip to Michigan for my husband's class reunion. I had surgery on this thick head. 2009 was a good year but I look forward to the year ahead. God has a plan for us and I can't wait to see what it is!
Several days ago, I started having headaches. All day and night. Not necessarily a regular headache but more like pressure. I remember commenting that my scar was kind of hurting. The day after Christmas, I noticed a swollen spot by my scar. By Sunday, it was still there but getting bigger and squishy. Called the neurosurgeon's office and they had me come in. My doctor wasn't there but another surgeon looked at and felt it. Yep, I've got a leak. Probably in the patch that they put on the sac around my brain. They made me an appointment with my own surgeon next Tuesday for him to look at it and decide what to do. So, I'm asking that you pray for me. Well, specifically that the leak would stop and not get any bigger. If it's still there next week, they said they might have to do another MRI or CT scan. I don't want that because it will be after the first of the year and I'd be starting my insurance deductible all over again. So, please pray.
2010 is almost here and 2009 seems to have flown by. Our daughter graduated from college, got a full time job, moved out into her own apartment and has recently become engaged. My parents took the whole family on a cruise for their 50th wedding anniversary. We made a trip to Michigan for my husband's class reunion. I had surgery on this thick head. 2009 was a good year but I look forward to the year ahead. God has a plan for us and I can't wait to see what it is!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! "For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a savior who is Christ the Lord!" While I am extremely thankful for family, friends, health, etc., I am most thankful that God loved us so much that He sent His son. Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Blizzard 2009. That's what they're calling it. Yesterday, we had wind gusts of up to 65 miles per hour with blowing snow. Snowing at around an inch per hour. Last official total I heard was 14 inches at the airport. We've got super big drifts around our house! It's beautiful to see this morning but last night they shut down the interstates and thousands of people were stranded in their cars for up to 10 hours. Today, the sun is shining but it's going to stay 32 or below for the next 7 days. More snow coming next week. Stay home. Enjoy your families. If you must go out, please plan ahead and be safe!
Blizzard 2009. That's what they're calling it. Yesterday, we had wind gusts of up to 65 miles per hour with blowing snow. Snowing at around an inch per hour. Last official total I heard was 14 inches at the airport. We've got super big drifts around our house! It's beautiful to see this morning but last night they shut down the interstates and thousands of people were stranded in their cars for up to 10 hours. Today, the sun is shining but it's going to stay 32 or below for the next 7 days. More snow coming next week. Stay home. Enjoy your families. If you must go out, please plan ahead and be safe!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Busy/Parties/Shopping/Tired/Thankful
It's been a very busy last few days and I'm really worn out. I went out Christmas shopping on Friday and Saturday. Why oh why didn't I shop BEFORE my surgery? Pardon me if this sounds rude but people act crazy this time of year. Personally, I think there should be some kind of rule as to how many people can go shopping together. Seriously. Example: Wal-Mart. Here came a mother with 4 teenagers trailing behind her. Come on now. Does it take 5 people clogging up an isle so that mom can pick up bread? Clogging it up because they never follow her in a nice line. No, they stand right in the middle of the aisle. When you politely say, "Excuse me" so that you can get by, they give you the look of death and just stand there. If I'm being honest, I wanted to run over them with my cart. Instead, I gave them one of those 'mommy' looks. Guess I'm scarier than I think because they moved right out of my way. Now, should we discuss all of the people trying to get to Quail Springs Mall? No, I think you get the point.
We had our Connection Class Christmas party on Saturday night. It was really nice to see everyone because I haven't been to class since my surgery. Everyone wanted to see my scar, talk about my recovery and seemed genuinely happy to see me. Played dirty Santa and had some yummy Christmas food.
Sunday morning our choir and orchestra presented great Christmas music. Although I enjoyed it, I was sad that I'm not able to sing with them yet. My voice still sounds scratchy and hoarse. I don't know how long this will last but I really really miss singing.
Sunday evening, we went to my bosses house for our office Christmas party. Good food and good fun. He passed out money to all of us and then we bid on different gifts. I bid at just the right time and hit the jackpot. Came home with the best gift of the night - a box full of cash! Seriously!
Today, I finished my shopping. Fought with the traffic and rude shoppers. Needless to say, I'm worn out. Tomorrow is looking like a good nap day. Getting my eyes checked and going to work on Wednesday. Opening gifts with the whole family on Thursday.
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not the hustle and crazy crowds of people. That, I could do without. Not even the presents as I have everything that I need and most of what I want but I love buying presents for people. This year, it's been difficult because I haven't had much time or money. I still love giving. I love spending time with my family. The laughing, the eating, the big smiles on their faces when they open up something that they've been wanting. My father reads the Christmas story and we each get a piece of the nativity. As he reads, we put our pieces together until the whole thing is complete. We talk about the blessings that God has given us and remind each other of the honor of being called one of His children.
I especially grateful this year for my health. Every day I'm amazed at the improvement. I'm thankful for God providing just the right doctors at just the right time. I had excellent care while I was in the hospital and after I came home. I'm still in recovery mode but I have a home to live in, a car to drive, food to eat, clothes to wear, a job to provide the money to pay the bills and a healthy and happy family. But most of all I'm thankful that God so loved me that He gave His only son so that when I believed in Him, I wouldn't perish but will have eternal life. This year, let's not forget what the birth of the baby means.
We had our Connection Class Christmas party on Saturday night. It was really nice to see everyone because I haven't been to class since my surgery. Everyone wanted to see my scar, talk about my recovery and seemed genuinely happy to see me. Played dirty Santa and had some yummy Christmas food.
Sunday morning our choir and orchestra presented great Christmas music. Although I enjoyed it, I was sad that I'm not able to sing with them yet. My voice still sounds scratchy and hoarse. I don't know how long this will last but I really really miss singing.
Sunday evening, we went to my bosses house for our office Christmas party. Good food and good fun. He passed out money to all of us and then we bid on different gifts. I bid at just the right time and hit the jackpot. Came home with the best gift of the night - a box full of cash! Seriously!
Today, I finished my shopping. Fought with the traffic and rude shoppers. Needless to say, I'm worn out. Tomorrow is looking like a good nap day. Getting my eyes checked and going to work on Wednesday. Opening gifts with the whole family on Thursday.
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not the hustle and crazy crowds of people. That, I could do without. Not even the presents as I have everything that I need and most of what I want but I love buying presents for people. This year, it's been difficult because I haven't had much time or money. I still love giving. I love spending time with my family. The laughing, the eating, the big smiles on their faces when they open up something that they've been wanting. My father reads the Christmas story and we each get a piece of the nativity. As he reads, we put our pieces together until the whole thing is complete. We talk about the blessings that God has given us and remind each other of the honor of being called one of His children.
I especially grateful this year for my health. Every day I'm amazed at the improvement. I'm thankful for God providing just the right doctors at just the right time. I had excellent care while I was in the hospital and after I came home. I'm still in recovery mode but I have a home to live in, a car to drive, food to eat, clothes to wear, a job to provide the money to pay the bills and a healthy and happy family. But most of all I'm thankful that God so loved me that He gave His only son so that when I believed in Him, I wouldn't perish but will have eternal life. This year, let's not forget what the birth of the baby means.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Work - The Sequel
As of today, it's been exactly six weeks since my surgery. For the average person, six weeks might sound like a long time. For me, it's gone lightening fast. Seems like yesterday I was in ICU and they couldn't get a vein to change my IV. Thirteen times. That's how many times they stuck me to try and get a new vein. The veins kept rolling and breaking. I had bruises everywhere. At least the nurses were apologetic and kind about it. They were very lucky that I was on morphine or there may have been much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
So, today I again went back to work. My goal was to make it all day. That's a lot harder than it sounds. Before my surgery, I routinely worked 10 hour days without blinking an eye. Not now. I got to work at 8:00 a.m. and by 10:30 a.m., I was wishing that the day would hurry and be over. I had several humps like that but forged ahead and actually made it until 5:00 p.m.! My brain is completely fried and I'm exhausted but for the first time, in a long long time, I had a clear head. All day. Not once did I get confused. Not once did I get lost and wonder what I was doing. That alone kept me going. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference this surgery has made. I will try for another full day this next week.
You would have thought that completing an entire day of work would be enough for one day. Nope. I went to hear the Oklahoma City Philharmonic after work today. (They put on an annual Christmas program in Yukon every year.) I really didn't know if I would be able to stay awake but I was greatly blessed. To listen to the talented musicians and to hear the beautiful singers singing about Christ's birth was just what I needed. We get so caught up in all the hurrying, decorating, buying presents, going to parties, etc. that we forget what we're celebrating. It's not a day to exchange gifts. It's a day for us to remember the birth of our savior. Let us not get so caught up in ourselves that we forget the reason that we celebrate this day.
Getting my hair trimmed up tomorrow. It's growing really fast and is almost covering my scar. One more month and I don't know that you'll even be able to tell that I had surgery. I'll get my husband to take a picture and try to get it up tomorrow.
Though today ended up being a good day, I'm asking that you still continue to pray for me and for those like me that live every day with Chiari. The surgery isn't a cure-all and there's no guarantee that my symptoms won't come back. I still live with headaches and occasional strange sensations in my arms and legs but I am very grateful to God for the relief of my major symptoms. Others are not so fortunate. I am blessed with wonderful family and friends and have a lot of support. Once again, I do NOT take them for granted. God is good!
So, today I again went back to work. My goal was to make it all day. That's a lot harder than it sounds. Before my surgery, I routinely worked 10 hour days without blinking an eye. Not now. I got to work at 8:00 a.m. and by 10:30 a.m., I was wishing that the day would hurry and be over. I had several humps like that but forged ahead and actually made it until 5:00 p.m.! My brain is completely fried and I'm exhausted but for the first time, in a long long time, I had a clear head. All day. Not once did I get confused. Not once did I get lost and wonder what I was doing. That alone kept me going. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference this surgery has made. I will try for another full day this next week.
You would have thought that completing an entire day of work would be enough for one day. Nope. I went to hear the Oklahoma City Philharmonic after work today. (They put on an annual Christmas program in Yukon every year.) I really didn't know if I would be able to stay awake but I was greatly blessed. To listen to the talented musicians and to hear the beautiful singers singing about Christ's birth was just what I needed. We get so caught up in all the hurrying, decorating, buying presents, going to parties, etc. that we forget what we're celebrating. It's not a day to exchange gifts. It's a day for us to remember the birth of our savior. Let us not get so caught up in ourselves that we forget the reason that we celebrate this day.
Getting my hair trimmed up tomorrow. It's growing really fast and is almost covering my scar. One more month and I don't know that you'll even be able to tell that I had surgery. I'll get my husband to take a picture and try to get it up tomorrow.
Though today ended up being a good day, I'm asking that you still continue to pray for me and for those like me that live every day with Chiari. The surgery isn't a cure-all and there's no guarantee that my symptoms won't come back. I still live with headaches and occasional strange sensations in my arms and legs but I am very grateful to God for the relief of my major symptoms. Others are not so fortunate. I am blessed with wonderful family and friends and have a lot of support. Once again, I do NOT take them for granted. God is good!
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